Beyond the Chaos…Listening When You Can’t See Your Way

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
From Him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,
My defense and my strong tower; I will not be shaken or disheartened. Psalm 62: 1-2 AMP

“Hey Rubi, I’m going to let you lead the way. Do you know where we are?” The tiny teenager with thick, waist-length hair stopped sweeping her cane and paused. She lifted her shoulders the teeniest bit, turned her head slightly and smiled. I leaned in. I had learned early on in the school year that these mannerisms meant she was about to tell me something.

“Yes. I can hear the teacher’s voice and Mr. Elliott’s room is next to it.” Her response was slow, monotone with a barely perceptible inflection. Still, she spoke with certainty.  “I listen for that teacher’s voice and I know how to go.”

I paused.  I couldn’t hear anything other than the boisterous laughter of the campus monitors and deans, but Rubi was headed in the right direction. I followed a step behind, listening to the noise of another school year ending until I, too, recognized it. The very distinct, slightly nasally sound of Mr. Knapp expounding on math solutions to a few students  As we passed his room, Rubi explained that she learned his voice at the beginning of the year then used it as a guide when she was coming back from the bathroom or commons or ceremics class. Her education team tried to time it so she was in the halls between bells to avoid the chaos of more than 2,000 other students changing classes at the same time. Sometimes the chaos was unavoidable. So Rubi would wait.

Rubi can’t see. Physically anyway – she is visually impaired. Blind.

But she has taught me that when we can’t see our way, we can pause and listen beyond the chaos for guidance.

And sure enough, a few moments later she leaned her cane against the wall where a few staples lingered behind, tiny sovenirs of posters removed in honor of a school year fading into summer.  Arms out, she cautiously found her way to the bookshelf that held her brailler, and settled into her desk for the day’s lesson.

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I’m at a crossroads in life, unsure which direction I’m supposed to take. I can’t really visualize my way into the next place. Chaos surrounds me, engulfs my decisions. The clamoring of friends and family exhort me to go one way.  The shouts of co-workers, past and present, point out a different path. The obnoxious voice of my own fears, uncertainty, and fatigue rises louder yet, paralyzing me from moving at all.

So like Rubi, I’m choosing to pause. Wait out the chaos and listen for that One familiar Voice. I’ll be still and I’ll pray and I’ll wait. Then, with quiet assurance, I will move forward.

This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16 NIV

Blessings,

Marie with a 🙂